Bridge over troubled waters

As I listen to this beautiful song, "Bridge over troubled waters"... I was just reminded how often we forget to lay our troubles on Jesus. How He keeps reminding us that He will take care of our worries, and to lay our cares on him... but how often we forget that.......... especially now, with all the papers and exams... Just so tired, everyday is a drag.... like even though i dont get much things done, I still feel so tired. Need to learn to draw freshness from the living water..... Need to learn to put my cares on HIM...

Ok, I'm too lazy to write down everything that's on my mind... That's how mentally tired I am... Just looking forward to 4th April, the day that I fly home... the holiday i desire most....... :) can't wait to see you...... <3

What just happened?

"it's all too quiet" "it's coming over YOU, like its a big mistake" "somethings made your eyes cold" "Come on, don't leave me like this, i thought i had u figured out"
"My mother accused me of loosing my mind" "you paint me a blue sky, and turn it to rain" "maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame"

One second, one minute, one day.... seems to make a whole lot of difference...
One random thought, One random mistake... I swear it's always mistake with me.. cos the mistakes I've made are not intentional... Well, a certain someone told me that its intentional... but its not..... its pure mistake..... All these put together, and we are in a different world. We were in Venus, and now we are in Mars.

I have the urge to update my status on facebook and really put "what's on my mind" but I wouldn't.... cause I don't wanna hurt you... but you don't seem to have a problem updating urs with underline connotations.

If you should read this, and if I really could tell you honestly... without worrying about whether you will go cold... cos that's what you do, when I open my big loud mouth to express myself... I've always been open and expressive... that's what my parents encouraged me to.. to just be open and state my mind... but these days i seem to be hiding my thoughts away....

Hiding all my hurts... Every word you say... or don't say... seem to pierce my heart..
One sword at a time... and when you seem generous, its needles... but needles are painful, though smaller....

But you'd never know, how painful it is to lick my wounds... lick it alone... because you are so absorbed in your world.. all you want is for me to be in your world... you don't want to have anything to do with my world..... All you think about is HOW HURT YOU are.... and should you know... I'm really sorry for what I did... and I'm trying my BEST to heal those wounds... those burning wounds i've inflicted... but you wouldnt give me a chance to.... but instead you cut me into two... or three.. or four...but you'd never know... cause you are so absorb in all your hurts....

The art of Distraction........

No one knows better to distract oneself than yours truly. Well, blame it all on the festive mood. Chinese New year -_- shheesshhhh..................

Writing a paper on the topic "sons of God" but cant seem to get my mind to FOCUS.... managed to come up with only a 1000 words after 2 days of zero concentration..... another 1500 more words to go... Avoni fighting...!!!

But come to think of it... I'm the victim..... Technology has taken my concentration level away...... Facebook, youtube, messenger, Iphone....... the list goes on.....

PLEASE:- word to the students who wants to score "A", "Do not ever ever download RESTAURANT story" *sigh... It's an addictive game... gets you so hooked........ if it doesnt get you hooked, then somethings wrong with you..... I couldn't stop playing... On the train, the bus, walking down the streets, eating, church, studying, writing a paper, in class........ Everywhere... !!! ssshheessshh............ horrible......... Regina dear you got me into trouble by introducing this game.......... hee hee.. but i love it so much........

Nwas my inability to concentrate got so far that I even went to the BBC website to check out news........... which is really funny, cos i don;t normally read/watch news...... never....... only entertainment news......... so well......... the bottom line:- if you can't concentrate, you will invent or find ways to get youself even more distracted......... hmm

Akum darling - my first love

I've always been the type of girl who loves the "idea" of being in love; but is over-the-top scared of really being in love. So i've always hardened my heart. Limiting the feelings to "like"; making absolutely certain that it doesn't go to "love". Cause I've heard of stories where Love hurts and Love betrays and Loves kills you and shatters you to pieces. yeah........

But ever since I met this lovely person, my mind, my brain could not longer control my heart. Never intented to. Never knew. Never even thought of it. But Yes it did. And I thank God for him - the sweetest soul I've ever known. The best of the best. Always making me feel loved.

At this moment, I'm really upset and disappointed in myself. At my stupidity. It was just this one fleeting moment. I've always trusted him, and I've always been very confident of our relationship. But this one second. One destestable moment where I felt insecure. Scared that I'd loose him.

Now I stand here, in this dark tunnel. Hoping I see the ray of light soon. Very soon.

Love only knows. This song strengthen me, when I lost all hope. Baby, only time will tell of the strength of our love. I'm confident of our love. Though it might be late. Hope you can look past this folly of mine.

Love only knows - Josh Groban

"I've tried to hold this back so long

And we're always such a good thing when it's gone
Would it be alright if we just left our heads tonight

Take me away from this old game
Of saying we're both too much the same
Would it be alright if I just stayed with you tonight
And before I go, will I ever see you again

She said love only knows
Love only knows if we'll give into fear and choose life undercover
She said love only knows if it's special enough that we'll choose one another
Choose each other

You were the secret I loved keep
The name I would only sing in my sleep
Would it be alright if we just lose ourselves tonight
And if you let go, will you reach out again

She said love only knows
Love only knows if we'll give into fear and choose life undercover
She said love only knows it's special enough that we'll choose one another
We'll choose each other
And I can't breath with out you and I don't, and I can't live without love and I won't... and I won't

Love only knows if we'll give into fear and choose life undercover
She said love only knows if it's special enough that we'll choose one another
Oh, love only knows how your arms pull me in like the tide pulls me under
She said love only knows just how long we can run before we lose each other

And we need each other
And I can't live without you and I won't"

Charles Barnes

Today after the teacher's meeting, Mr Charles Barnes, this year's examiner for ABRSM exams, came up to me and asked me if I agree with what he says and stuffs.... and we continued talking about music and teaching; the right way, the wrong way and all... Then at one point, he was like telling me that I was a fine pianist - and I was like stoked - I mean coming from such a great musician. And When we continued talking about Chopin's pieces; he was like -"Well Those pieces aren't for me" and he said (am paraphrasing it) that pianist of my level can do that and that he'l leave those pieces to one like me/us. I was like stunned and EXCITED; a musician so fine saying that to me is like totally awesome. And when we talked about practicing fast, cos the argument was that if we are to perform the piece fast we gotta practice fast; and he on the other hand is a firm believer of practicing it slow to get it right and then move on to practice fast; well i do practice slow, but upon the advise of Dr. Mark tanner (a professional -and really popular- concert pianist in UK) I started to practice it fast cos if i m to play it fast i gotta practice it fast- but at times i go slow too, so as to correct some mistakes: Well then on this topic he commented "The Likes of you and Dr. Mark Tanner can do that, but me I'l stick to playing slow" And I was like in my mind (i did not speak out loud) " WHAT??? You just compared me to Dr. Mark Tanner??? You put me in the same level as this prolific musician???" Phew today is the best day of my life.............. :) i m stoked.......... :)

Paw Paw and pussy cat :)

When two people don't get along and are always ready to plunge their fists down at each other's throat, they say, "these two are like cats and dogs". It is true that cats and dogs don't get along. Maybe most don't. But mine do. And i've heard stories of people whose cats and dogs are like so loving towards each other. Then where did this cliche start from? Is ir really true that Cats and Dogs fight like crazy? Or that we human beings just found another excuse to blame the animals for our rivalry.

Here is a picture of my pets. The other morning, my mum and I kinda felt lazy, so we decided to feed them in a small bowl. When we put the food in the bowl and asked both paw paw (dog) and pussy cat to come and eat; we just witnessed the most amazing thing. Paw paw, our sweet dog, really proved herself to be real lady - full of manners. Although she was eating at first, when the cat came to eat, she would move away and let the small cat eat - she would droll and just wait for her turn, and when the cat moves away from the bowl - then paw paw would come and eat; but as soon as the cat comes back, she would give way and let the little one eat. It is such a beautiful sight. Even thought she was so hungry and craving to eat, yet she waited - she let the small pussy cat eat first, then only she ate. It just touched my heart............. The most beautiful sight by far. :)

Montage of my thoughts......

You have the voice, but not the ability to voice out;
You have the ability, but not the voice to reach out;

You want to love, but are not able to;
You are able to love, but is scared to;

You have to be near, to tend the sheep at hand;
You have to be far, to tend the fleet of sheep that's going to pour in;

You have to suffer, to be happy;
You have to be happy, to suffer the long road;

You have to shine, to burn out what's yours;
You have to burn out, to shine even more;

You have to be loud, to hide what's to be hidden;
You have to be quiet, to reveal what's to be revealed;

You have to be cold, to beat the heat;
You have to be hot, to beat the cold;

I guess what I'm thinking is just a juxtapose of useless thoughts,
But still thoughts, nonetheless: