I feel as if I am going nowhere. Like i m going to be stuck in this phase forever. suddenly i don't feel like I m growing, as in skill wise, spiritually, career or whatever, and it scares me to think that i will be stuck in this level for my whole life!!!
I need my big break!!!! I'v always wanted to be a Star, to be somebody, to die performing on stage, but m nowhere there. and these past few years i have not been performing, like for real. (ofcus i do play piano n sing in church and stuffs, but thats not what i was born for)
Ever since i could stand, my dad identified that i was stage-material!! He told me a very funny story. it seems i would press the Demo button on my keyboard and act as if i was performing, well my audience were my parents, relatives and parent's frens!! LOL! and i was only 2 years old. but i feel i m never gona make it big OUT there!! I am 20 for goodness sake, and stuck here as a nobody!! Whereas those fortunate fellas make it BIG out there by the time they are 16!!! arrrgghhhh!!! It's frustrating for me to be here.......... I want to conquer the whole world....... due to my bubbly disposition, everyone thinks i happy and satisfied withh my life, BUT what they don't know is that i m rotting inside. spending most of my nights crying and questioning God!!!
WHY GOD???? why???? I love you but why do I have to sacrifice my dreams????
1 comment:
Hey!
Don't think nobody knows where you're at and what you're feeling though you wear a smile...the folks who do are praying for you :)
Don't fret...it's strange to say this but it's actually kinda normal to feel the way you do...it proves one thing...you're alive and your spirit's alive and kicking!
Don't give up...press on..."For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything." James 1:3-5
Let's keep jammin' girl...something good's sure to come outta it some way :)
Love n hugs,
Rach
Post a Comment