Dinner with my gals!!

TOday is the best day of my life.. erm.. one of the best days.. BECAUSE i got the opportunity to cook.. haha.. Like when i cook i get this emmense happiness which i cant express in words, U have to see me face-to-face to really understand the extraordinary excitement!! haha...
Deniece, Nicky, Ruth, Ella.. U r the best!! Its sad that Rachel got sick.. i really hope that she is better now...Ruth even bought Cheesecake for dessert...
Well if you wana know the recipes for the dishes i Cooked tonight.. Check out my Recipe blog!!!
# Another thing that i m damn excited about is...... I CARRIED PUCCI.. deniece's dog... Its a great achievement for me.. I guess Pucci was like mild, sweet and gentle so it kinda help.. otherwise some dogs r just so fierce!!! THis is the first time i m holding a dog,, wait i will post up the pics next time!!! I m trying to overcome my fear (of dogs) and Pucci helped.. such a sweet dog!!
Well, prior to that i could not even let a dog come near me.. then my first step was at shalyn's place.. I had no choice but to stay in the same room with Shalyn's dog (dutches).. so the furthest i got was letting dutches lick me.. i could not hold her.. guess was quite scared.. but now whoa-la!!! i can carry Pucci!!! but i don know whether i can still do that to other dogs....

mmm...

three blog entries in a day,, must be really bored...
Mum called again and asked, "avoni how is your headache?"
"did you eat?" " try to eat something ok?" "Just be careful (cos of the weather now)'
mmmm...... how i wish i was at home... just wish to be pampered to death...
Bloggie dear, u must be tired of me. so i will stop writing n leave u alone...

Princess...

It sure does feel good being the Princess of the family...
I m much better now.. due to the dozes of Love from home..
(As i refused to take medicine)
Well, ever since i called daddy n told him that i was havin a headache...
He had his moments of unrest...
"avoni go and see a doctor" "eat this eat that"
Mum would be like, "take aspirin" which i did not have...
Then i suggested if takin Vit C pills be Ok.. Both of them replied, "mmm.. i don think that will help" (well, vit C is the only tablet that i m comfortable taking.. no Panadol, no watsoever)
Well, After informing him of my state.. Daddy called me up THREE times just to check on my health.. then i was like tryin to act mature and replied, "oh daddy, i m much better" or "i m resting now, i m sure i'l be better"
I just feel so precious...
I just feel wanted and needed...
I know that if something happens to me, someone will be in deeper anguish than i m...
mmm.... I love the feeling of being Loved...

*sick* timely or UNTIMELY???

I have been feeling quite tired since y'day, but i thought it was because of my usual emo*ness.. but today i woke up at around 12pm only to realise that i have this headache that does not go away!!!! On top of that i had no choice but take my violin class (because i cant cancel it... as i m not the one going to the teacher's place.. if so i wud have cancelled) well, i did not learn much today but nwas thats not the point....
Is this like a timely sickness or and untimely?? Just fell sickish after the exams are over.. (so i guess if u look at this side of the coin its timely) but now that the exams are over,, i get the chance to just go out and have fun ryt?? so it can be considered unttimely?? aye??
Called up daddy.. cos i needed to whine to somebody,,, and daddy came to mind.. he asked me to see a doctor, he said that there might be other things that caused the headache.. so better get it checked before it gets worst.. But the thing is.. I don like going to hospitals (for my sake.. i like visiting others tho.. moral support), or seeing a doctor.. just a weird phobia... so i told him.. i'l take rest today and see if i get better,, if not i will visit a doctor.. but let's see how it goes today.. ( i said this just to comfort him) well, i will not visit a doctor... I will just pray to the great physician.. (JESUS)...
I feel so lonely..
I feel so left out..
I feel so sad...
I feel like dying...
I feel nothing..

Study... my big mouth,,

I must try to keep myself awake...
Last week was study break... but study i did not.. I don't blame it on the concert.. cos if i wanted i could squeeze in some time.. but well, lets just blame to lack of motivation...
Apparently the so-called "lack-of-motivation" continues... I tried studyin from likr 1030am.. but i had difficulties keeping myself awake.. I constantly dozed off.. and guess wat?? by the time i woke up it was already 1pm.. i guess the books started singing their sweet lullaby... well i m just depending on what i know, meaning from what i understood from all those lectures... mmm....
Prioritize AVONI!!!!
Besides that i should learn to "think Before I Speak" aya,.. sometimes i just utter things (really bad) without thinking about the effects it will have on the other end... well, like for me, i m like super implusive.. I LIVE in the moment.. so whatever i think i speak,, just whack without really meaning it.. or just do things as i feel like doing at that moment!!! sometimes i forget what i said. And the funny thing is I don't understand why those stupid things i said could have such a big effect.. well, I m still trying to figure out!!! LIke apparently some things i said made joel damn guitly and I was like *ding* (confused) cos i was not lik angry or anything when i said these things.. maybe abit disappointed but it was all forgotten the next minute.. well,,,, the world is a big playground with alot of different type of kids.. so I hope i get to figure out this "kid"... ok i will go back to studyin.. or sleepin,, hahaha... muacks guys!!!

taken for granted???

For no reason, this sudden cloud of *emo*ness overwhelmed me.. like I am really not that sad.. but nonetheless feels *lost*, like sad for some reasons which i don't know... And in this state, this weird thought of Daddy neglecting me or the fear of not being LOVED enough (*as before*) just ran through my head! It crazy I know. And these past two days, I have been pissed off by him FOR NO REASONS... (like the other day i was on the phone with dad.. and the moment he uttered the line, "you mean you cant even do that?" (He did not say in a harsh tone, but in his normal manner) but that just "fired" me.. and i in my usual 'spoilt tone' replied, "aaahhh (long scream) nevermind nevermind.. forget it.. forget it.. (i kept saying "forget it' in between his sentences)
Dad: avoni, what happened? (very very calm and gentle tone)
Avoni: Nothing nothing... I will do it... It k.. don worry!
Dad: The PNR number and the ticket number is there.. (in the sms he send me)
Avoni: ok. (abit calm now.. state of realisation.. )
Dad: avoni, if you cant do it then don worry, I will get it done for you..
avoni: its ok daddy, I will do it. (now in my gentle and loving tone)

After that i felt abit guilty, so i send him an sms apologizing if i had offended him. To which we had a short conversation (exchanging sms)
I guess i have been so used to daddy taking care of me that sometimes i forget to treasure him or mummy. Like it seems normal for me to be taken care of by them, sometimes to the extend that I feel its their JOB to take care of me!! ah!! Avoni, Grow up!!! Well, they are the BEST parents in the whole wide world!!! If there is a competition they would certainly WIN the goal MEDAL!!! *LOVE you BOTH****

Coincidentally, i recieved this email from Meron, its very touchin... do read it!!!
A KEEPER!!!
Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived
barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, work shirt and a hat; and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, and dish-towel in the other. It was the time for fixing things: a curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep. It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, re-heating leftovers, renewing; I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there'd always be more. But when my mother died, and I was standing in that clear morning light in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more.Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away...never to return. So... While we have it, it's best we love it... And care for it... And fix it when it's broken... And heal it when it's sick. This is true: For marriage... And old cars... And children with bad report cards... Dogs and cats with bad hips... And aging parents... And grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep, like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with. There are just some things that make life important, Like people we know who are special... And so, we keep them close!

~German Requiem~

Finally!!! Its over!!!! Well I am glad that its over... but i cant believe the whole thing ended so FAST!!! When we practiced, it seemed super long,,, nwas now i cant wait for the next performance!! (yeah!!) OH!! I hope MOTHER(AKA LIM YAU) does not scold us on monday!!! Man.. my feet hurts!!! Can u imagine Singing (which itself requires ALOT of energy, esp works like this!!) and STANDING for more than an HOUR!!! I guess there's always a price to pay, EVEN for your passion!! I manage to meet TESSA's Husband... both of them are so cute together.. (tessa, if u r reading this.. don blush ok??)...

Yup!! YUP!! Had dinner with Shalyn, Ruth and Justin (ruth's secondary fren)... at this japanese place (of which i cant rem the name),,, Yup.. I din think that ruth and shalyn wud click so well... haha... ok.. ya! wait.. i made a great achievement,,, i manage to enjoy "sashimi".. when i first tried i couldn't take it so i spat it out.. (eeeeww!!!) but today i total enjoyed it!!

mmm.... ten when to Max Brenner... (no matter how full u r.. there's always a space for dessert!!) yoyo.. Ah!!! I cant sleep... Its always like this, i mean i cant sleep when i m super full... mmm....

Harp.. final seat arrangement...

Well, today Maestro Lim yau was doing a final seat arrangement after the rehearsal. It was damn scary. Cos he said something like, "I am going to shift you around, please it's not that i don't like you (at this someone from the choir intentional blew his nose).. (then he sniggered n continued after a pause) It's not that i don't like you. But i want to place the front row with people that i am confident in. (at this my heart started beating irregularly.. was so scared, cos i was sittin in the front row... i prayed hard that he would not shift me otherwise it will be so embrassin)

He started moving people, one by one, both my right and left were shifted somewer.. ten at this my heart to skip even faster... well, i think my prayers were like answered cos He did not move me!!! Phew!! this is like a big time relieve for me...

Nwas before he dismissed us, he told us to preserve our voice.. said something like, "tomor do not talk, even in your office try not to speak, u will need it for the performance!!"

Well.. not talking is goin to b hard for me,,, LOL... nwas i m terribly quiet now.. I bet Ella is enjoyin the silence.. LOL..

OH btw I cant stop but admire the harp so i took a pic... LOL.. enjoy!!!

Tonight... Deniece.. HARP...

Was on my way back home from rehearsal. ALmost half-dead. Damn tired. My eyes were dead tired, i bet the people in the train wud b speculating that i m wasted or something. Nwas, deniece called. It has been ages since i "fellowship" with her. Blames all on me. She initaited a Lunch, like last tuesday. But for some funny and unexcusable reason, I bailed out on her. Well, was SUPER glad to hear her voice again!! ha! A synopsis of our conversation..
Deniece: Hey, come down!
Avoni: Ok... (pause).. Where? (psst.. btw i was on the train)
Deniece: I m just below your house!
Avoni: Huh! (*shocked*)
Deniece: come down...
Avoni: I m on the train.. Jus finis rehearsal..
Deniece: where.. I 'l come pick u up..
Avoni: M at kembangan (don't know how to spell..) why don't you come to bedok?
Deniece: ok. ok.. bedok then..
Avoni: ok.
Deniece: ah.. hey hey.. which side? oh.. the interchange.. that side?
Avoni: ah,, ok ok... see you soon..

ha! I mean this meeting with her and Jeremy just revived me.. i mean i was dead tired,, but well, it all went away.. (i know it sounds weird, but everytime i meet people esp good frens, I m energised!!)

Apart from that!!! TOday we rehearsed with the Orchestra for the first time!! We get to rehearse together only twice( 2 days before concert)!!! It was fantastic!! It sounded marvelous.. man i cant help but appreciate the Harpist ya.. I m going to learn the harp... its in my 5 year plan!!! yoyo.. i mean if i manage to gather enough resources.. that is!! ha ha.. but i m sure that in due time God will provide, He always does!! (GOD!!! This is another one of my PASSION ok??? Please give me the Opportunity to learn the HARP!!!???? PLease??) Tsk.. it is an expensive instrument... Jeremy said there are like only 20 harpist in SINGAPORE.. man, unbelievable,, man, i bet its expensive!!

3 more days...!!!

I m so so so so so..... awfully excited of all the wonders God has done!!!! Man, he has healed my sore throat!! jus 2 days back, i was so worried cos instead of my throat getting better, i had the addition of this unwanted virus (flu)!! I got so terrified that on satuday I kept drink hot ginger tea like totally non-stop!! (and occasionally honey and vit C capsules) Well, all these troubles cos I hate takin all those medication with chemicals, like panadol and the like!! (call me grandma, I don care!! he he..)
And y'day I sort of started havin like slight headache during the worship at the evening service, so i decided to go home after worship!! I sort of started to "mildly" panic, cos i need to get well, cos i needed my voice!!!
Well, guess wat??? I woke up today, feeling much better!! its just so absurd. I mean just y'day i felt i was going to get even more sick, but God has HIS ways of doing things!!
(LIstening to "the call" now.. its just so touching and romantic.. ah!!)
Well, thank you God!!
Now cant't wait for Thrusday!! "A German Requiem" yo!!!

HIghlight of violin class

Just finished my violin lessons.. today i bugged my teacher so much so that he started laughing uncontrollably; which further prompted him to disturb me even more!! well, the reason for my bugging him was because i wanted him to admit that i played well!! haha... Here is like a gist of our conversation.
Me: (after finishing a piece) Good ryt?
He: (with a smirk) Not bad.
Me: aya, when r u goin to admit that its gud..
He: ha. i will not make u so happy. cos if i say good, u might stop prac! I want u to improve.
Me: Aya, i will still practice! for once say good ya!

LIke any other Asian male teacher or father for that matter, He wunt dare to admit, thinking that his non-admittance will improve my skill.. hahaha... (rubbish!!!) Well here more of our conversation.

Me: (imitating him) Not bad!
He: (laughin) ya! not bad..
Me: i will wait for the day u say GOOD!!
He: (amidst all the noise said very softly) good.
Me: huh, again "not bad".... aya!!!
He: i just said, "gud"
Me: I never hear..
he: oh! cos i lost my voice.. (oh he had sore throat)
Me: Why must u say the "good" so softly! if u scold me then u speak so loudly then when it comes to "good" then u lost ur voice??
He: oh! if u don't hear then it's ur lost!! (continue smirkin...)

Nwas... gona have a cool day.. gona have DG (cell group) at an indian restuarant.. cool ryt??? stay cool guys...

ALL i ASK of You...

At this very moment of deep agony, I m listening to "ALL i ask of you".. tsk.. OH what could be worst than having a sore throat!! I have been drinking ginger tea, honey and Nim Jiom Pei pa koa very religiously, but does not seem to help.. Oh, not to forget WARM water!! God, all i ask of you is to take away this sore throat PLEASE??? I love you... Never ever let me get it again, daddy God.
its hurting not in the physical sense but the fact that I can't hit even B flat (the one above high C) without making an effort. I m suppose to be able to hit that comfortably.. sob sob... But i know that in my WEAKNESS God will make me able!! AMEN!! I think i need to learn to lean on Him rather than panickin over this.. Maybe He is trying to do something through this...?? something even more interesting and wonderful??? I am waiting.. lord.. don't make me wait too long, cos you know how much i HATE waiting...
I have rehearsal later... and its gona worsen my condition (singing the high note in my current condition) but Lim Yau is scary.. (oops should call him with more respect.. LOL.. don care, he is not gona read my blog,, hahaha) .. Like at rehearsal y'day, he was like telling this lady to "wake up".. and when the lady did not know that He was talkin to her.. HE went up closer and point his finger at her and asked her, "stop sleeping".. actuali she was not sleeping,, but maybe he meant figuratively? like asking her to sing properly or look fresher??? aya,, nwas its scary...
ok.. bye bye.. 'everytime we touch, i get this feelin'
everytime we kiss, i swear i can fly'.. LOvE this song...