Improvements... Character development???

As Ella and I were on our way to Clarke Quay, we were having our random mini-talks about 'Characters' or to be more specific we were trying to study people's face, body language and guessing how their character would be. crazy ryt?? I know know.. but it was fun. (funny how our answers/judgement were similiar.. )

Nwas the bottom-line is this thing that Ella told me about me. It made me stop and reflect... ok here's what she said, "you know, you are not proud... and also your heart is clean (as in straight, pure, etc) i mean you don have any sub-motive or ulterior motive in whatever you do.. " that made my heart MELT!!! oh... well here goes my reflection part... cos i have come a long way.. I have grown alot with regards to my personality..

OK i give a THEN and NOW comparison ya??

Then: According to my dad, I am like quite proud.. then ok?? Even some of my schoolmates (high school) will confirm this statement.

NOW: well, i don know how much i have come.. but i really wanted to change.. well, daddy mit have to eat his words,, LOL... (with regards to ella's comments)

THEN: The last person that my frens want to share would be me... its strange, like when they wana have fun, THEY come to me, but when it comes to like important stuffs or like deep sharing,, i don recollect them comin to me.. (hey m talkin about THEN ok?)

NOW: I feel good listening to other people, not saying that i rejoice over their misery, but i m just glad that i could be of some help (at least by listening..) Oh Deniece once mentioned that i am a good counseller... ah.. m so happy... and like these days my friends likes sharin to muah.. (at least i think so...) so ya, i have bcom a better listener...

Nwas the list will go on.. but the message i want to being across is that you will always be you... but u can make improvements to further develop ur personality thats more loveable and christ-like.. but remember, without compromisin on WHO U R...

Love and Affection - Mummy and Daddy

I miss my mummy and daddy so much ya, I mean its not that unbearable kind. But its just that at times I need that kind of affection that only they are capable of showering on me. The kind of Love, pampering, etc.. that i can recieve without feeling Guilty. A kind of bonding where I can DEMAND for attention and affection without getting that feeling of being too over-bearing on the other party. Oh geez...~! Ah! nwas I m gona see them Soon~ What should I get them for christmas this Year? Must really do something or give them something, like really nice.. Kind of like a make-up for last year ~i wasn't HOME for xmas..~
Well, apart from that life is great. I did manage to slim down abit, (aya i did not manage to go back to the really slim Avoni-back-when-I-first-came-to-singapore but who cares? I did manage to lose abit ryt?) So i am hoping that my sister will give me a congratulatory pat... muhahaha... She is a sweet little bossy sister.. Love her mann!!
Well, I manage to get hold of one of my brothers recently and had a good chat with him (moses). Its so hard these days to even get a chance to talk to them, both of them seems to be extremely busy!!! ah.. no time for their beloved sister.. (hey if u reading this, do feel guilty,, haha..). Nwas, i am super glad that Ben has matured so much. Like the way he talked to me was so different from what he used to be. He is more responsible, sincere and focussed these day. haha.. he was braging to me about what his Voice teacher told him.. hahah cute ryt?? (he now seems to be more excited about giving recital and concerts than me..??? haha)
Okie... mmm... Well m just looking forward to seeing them again.
"Avoni.Albert.Benry.Khristin... Forever!!!" Oh mum and dad also included...

Nicky tay....

I really had a really good bonding time with nicky today.. well, she is almost the exact opposite of me.. One of the best SANE frens i have (well, the others r as cool and crazy as can be).. It has been so long since we, like hang out and jus do things together.. Sometimes i feel a bit weird not getting to c her more often, mostly cos I saw her like EVERYDAY last term, until we got bored of each other and almost killed each other (Jus kidding LOL)...
Ya, so today she wanted to meet up for study, but for me i just wanted to be with her and Just talk or uno just have that time with her.... so well, i ended up playing the guitar and reading a MAG (an article on 'how to choose the right partner.. i think?? oh geez.. something like that)...
She is such a darling.. the moment i walked in the door, she was like, "Avoni, don't go back home for so long... stay in singapore" then after a few minute she went, "Oh!! avoni.." then again she went, "hey i have an idea, y don'y u marry my brother, then we will become relatives, ten i will always see you.." then ya... we continue talking about my daddy,mummy, her cell group, my cell group, food, etc etc...
I realised that i use the line.."blah blah blah..." A LOT... she asked me to stop.. but i think i cant ya...??? it saves me alot of trouble uno?? cos i don have to explain everything.. i jus say a sentence or two and add blah blah blah.. ten everyone can understan ryt?? LOL...
Nicky, nicky nicky, what will i do without ya,,,

Oh geez.. Goin crazy!!!

This is really something ya... I m like goin nuts.. There are times that the Alarm rings and i wake up and jus turn it off cos M jus too tired.. but these days, its a different SToRy!!! I don even hear the Alarm ring!!! and this has happened 3 days in a row... and i wake up like really really late.... thank God that i don take any morning classes or else i m DEAD!!! It jus too weird.. n its quite LOUD but yet i don happen to hear it..

Not only that, i have been doin other crazy things as well, like earlier i was saving some stuffs in Ella's thumbdrive, so ya after that instead of pluggin out the thumb, I took out the Broadband!!! And on top of that, i was even trying to like put the cover (of the thumb drive) on the broadband, and all the way i was so puzzled and irritated that it would not fit!!! Ya Ella had a good laugh.. being a witness to this great and stupid act of mine...

i thought it would end there but NO!!!// like we were goin to college for class.. then I almost got off a stop earlier... thinking that i'v already reached college... Man!! thank God for Ella, otherwise i would have alighted already!!! Geez.....

Oh this is not the end of the drama... After reaching col, Ella went to the LIbrary to print the assignments.. and guess what she started callin me, like twice, asking me where i saved my file.. I thought maybe she did not find it or something.. so i decided to go down to the library.. Guess wat?? I saved the word Document... i saved a pervious assignment with the same title!!! Oh man.. i started panickin.... so i decided to explain to the lecturer... i think he sort of sensed that i was freaking out,.... He sort of understood and asked me to pass up the assignment next week, But as a proof that i have done my part, he asked me to email him my work by tonight!!! Thank you GOd!!! man.. m grateful for HIs abundant grace... Geez... i hope my head starts working properly... mmm cant wait for voice class tmr... mmm... G'nyt... Muacks!!!

Facial... Deep cleansing!!!

Went for Facial today with deniece.. i thought she was quite SWEET today.. like even tho she finished earlier she waited for me.. ;-)!! Nwas, it was a super-fabulously fantastic experience, i mean don'y u love that feeling of gettin ur face sweaky clean... MV beauty rocks mann!!!
Justin (beautician) was explainin to me some stuffs while washing for me... so i kinda like picked up some stuffs which i thought was quite applicable even in other areas of LIFE...
She said, "when u come 4 facial, its basically extracting all those impurities that accumulated.. blah blah bllah..... but what i wana emphasize is the regular cleansing AT HOME... cos it makes my work easier plus u don't end up wasting extra money extra treatment"
my thoughts, "mmm.... no wonder constant walk with God is important. Let's compare a sunday's sermon or a week's revival to the monthly facial okie?? without regular cleansing, the skin will be clogged wit all those dirts, oils and bacteria, hence the ugly skin over time... well, even if u have breakouts due to stress and study, if u cleanse regularly, IT is EASIER for the beautician to do her wonders on u, but without the regular cleansing.. she would like end up pricking ur skin and trying her best to penetrate the thick ugly pores, thereby HURting u and causing a red bulb... DOn you get it?? God wants to clean ya n make u pure as Gold, but without the small regular cleansing, the process of making u PURE would be exremely hard... like I have always wondered why God does certian things to me and why he wants to embarrass me or hurt me so much.. but what i did not realise was that he wants to c me clean n good as new, n since i did not do my part, he has to do HIS ways on me, cos it was sooo obvious that my WAYS were killing me....
LOVE ya GOD... you rock!!!
OH ya.. was craving for ICE-cream, so ended up finishing half-a-TUB of ice-cream.... erm... now what do i do with the unwanted fats??? might actuali be good for winter ryt?? keep me warm... LOL!!!

okie... i'l get back to my assignments!!! have fun.. be cool always!!!

Sore throat.. Singing???

Man... havin a sore throat is the worst thing that could have happened to u, esp if u r required to be singing.. oh ya.. Y'day at the rehearsal was trying my best to sing as well as preserve my voice... hitting the high A, B and C when u r having a sore throat is not easy!!!! And if u continue to strain ur voice, u mit loose it!! that's what i was scared about.. but the other option of not singing was even scarier... like y'day Conductor Lim yau was like in a rage.... Wow!! i was jus praying to God that he would not point or pick on me.. Thank God he did not.. otherwise it wud have be sooo embrassing... like y'day he was moving people around,, changing positions so that the Choir would sound better (like moving the weaker ones to a more comfortable place...) then pointing out to people who were not singing to SING, abrubtly stopping the choir n makin three tenors to sing alone cos he cant get the sound that he wants from them... then telling us that we were not Good enough to be deemed as professionals... Oh mann.. after al that crap, he told us that He Loved each and everyone of us and thats yy he is doin all these.. and even apologised for tiring us sooo much (oh the rehearsal was intense, partly cos the concert is nearing.. 13th nov people!!!) but he said that this particular piece (Brahms' german requiem) is very complicated and demanded that of us.. saying stuffs like 'even if u take out the words, the notes alone is still a master piece'

Oh mann... i should not be absent for rehearsals, i mean i m present every monday (but i jus cant make it on thrusdays.. got class...) jus scared cos he was telling us to be more regular...

Food, Food, CRAVINGS, CRAVINGS...

AAAH... jus cant take it ya... i have been munching out the whole week... even after dinner (or lunch) i jus have this urge to eat something.. n i usuali end up snacking on unhealthy stuffs (chips, cookies, pocky, Pretzels...) AVoNI.. COntrol!!!!

LIke y'day... at DG i was like horrendously craving for a Subway cookie, (n i had dinner already) so all the way thru dg, my mind was like 'cookie, cookie;.. sadly the outlet at Chinatown was closed by the time we finis Dg(10 plus)... so decided to drag everyone to 7eleven... grab a pocky and a famous amos cookie.. bah,, no match for subway!!! nwas.. even the night before was like that... like i reached home from school , then this urge jus captured me, so ended up eating a curry puff!!!

To make matters worst, the pattern is following even today!!! jus had a cream cracker n now eating 'Rold Gold America's NO 1 Pretzels" lol... nwas.. m not gaining any weight so i DON care... but m scared that i'l end up FAT!!! (My worst nightmare!!!) oh!! finally satisfied my craving for a subway cookie today (jus before havin a filling lunch of fish and chips... DUH!!) seems like my heart (or rather my mouth lol) is stronger than my mind...

Oh shut up AVONI!!! stop stop.... i'l go n watch MADE OF HONOR....

Dating.... MARRIAGE???

Well... at small group today... Pastor Dennis continued with the Topic of DATING and there about went to MARRIAGE as well.... pretty interesting... never knew that such a topic would bring so much excitement!!! LOL...
Nwas i jus juxtapose all the things that stood out okie??? cant write in exact sequence ya... lol!!!
Pastor D: "What come to your mind when you think of Dating? please dont think Christian ok?"
Ella: In Nagaland there are less non-Christian so?? i cant think in non-christian way (ding....) .. but dating is like getting to know someone more and just spending time..
Me: Dating is like enjoying the other person and getting to know more about him.
Samuel: dating... i believe shud b male and female... i don like male-male or...
Pastor D: Ya God made Adam and Eve not Adam and STEVE... (everyone burst out laughin)
"its about seeing whether u r compatible" "goin out for movies or dinner"

DATING in Christian sense????
"More boundaries and more cautious" "values system" "Church comes to mind - like cell group" "accountability"

PURPOSE of Dating???
"Eventually lead to marriage" "compatibility" "get to know his/her family"

OK I CANT REM IN PROPER SEQUENCE... HERE.. I L DUMP EVERYTHING!!
One thing that struck me was what Pastor Anita said, "marriage is not about completeness.. it's about two whole individual coming together, and still being whole even after they are together" (it's jus awesome!!!)
"i always pictured marriage as a triangle - God, me and my husband." (cool ryt??) "Marriage??? Finding someone who has the qualities that i don't,, like example, i m bad in finance so someone who can handle money" (Guess who said this??? hahha... we suggested to him to advertize for an accountant.. lol)
"In the world dating is all about getting what you can from the other person... satisfy your needs..." " ya in the world sense, the guy is like can i get sex out of this relationship" "but if you love someone, the expressions of your love should not bring you guilt"
This talk led to TRUE LOVE WAITS.. its like a movement where u abstian from sex before marriage... and safe your VIRGINITY for your husband/wife. cos otherwise the real essence of marriage that God created would be spoilt!!!
Then there was this issue of Flee-ing from Temptation, resolving in your heart, pursing a goal of righteousness, love, peace etc.. and ACCOUNTABILITY!!!
ya accountability like havina senior person be your mentor of your relationship etc... helpin u in the path.. etc.. kinda cool...
Man my small group is like the coolest group in the whole wide world!!!!

JUNO... All i want is you

was reading deniece's blog today.. man.. that song that she posted is awesome.. its the song from JUNO.. ALL i want is you!!!!... oh man....
Decided to watch the movie.. instead of polishing my paper (due tomor) nwas i'l wake up tmr n do...
Nwas the most touching thing about this movie was towards the end.. wer the daddy saya to juno... "find the person who will love you for who you are, just the way you are, all sides of you... " (at least it something like that.. for goodness sake i did not memorize it!!!) COOL man.... got to sleep now... muacks!!!!

consequences... or TREATS!!!

There are times when u do things u shud not do and DON do what u shud do.. like pricking ur unnoticable Zits and turning them into huge bulbs of pimples, or opening ur big mouth only to offend someone wen u don mean it... AND doin things u ought to do and shud do but DONt do.... like cleaning ur room... are always pushed to the rear... (We cleaned our room ttoday and it is super neat,,, hurray!! i can breathe now...) but what you don realise is that doin what u shud b doin only helps u!!!
OK... like for example, doin the right things benefits u not only in that area but in others as well (lets take that as complimentary bebefits.. :-)... for instance, cleaning the room.. makes the room clean, enhances the studying mood, burns calories (hence slimmer) et etc...
well, the analogy m trying to make is that I shud b doing the RIGHT thing and not only go by my feelin... before i do anything Stupid,, i shud take into consideration what the outcome will be... well if it doesn't hurt anyone then well i l go ahead.. but shalyn taught me a lesson the other day.... "it's gud that u live in the moment... but be careful, wen u r dealing with other people's lives.." mmm..... i love me, me, me... and i love my neighbour, neighbour, neighbour....

So Hard!!!

i almost broke out into tears ya... being a classically train painist, its so hard to get the 'swing'... so very!!! I hope i get it.. Like last sunday, Joel was trying to teach (very patiently, i tel ya) but it din get thru my thick skull... nwas half way thru... Uncle Jimmy came in and started laughin at me, telling me that i was doin it wrong... at first i cud take it, i jus smiled and tried my best... but he wunt stop laughing at me!!! Even after Joel explained it to him that i don know the 'duno-wat-some-technique' he wunt stop....

well, at this point my face wen from 'moses bright' to 'pharoah black'.... LOL!!! but i m not goin to GIVE UP!!!!!

mmm.... oh ya... i learnt a new variation of the 4 pattern (drums) its soooo cooool/..... oh mann... finally m able to play drums.. after a long wait!!!! Paul david din have the time to teach, jerry was too LAZY, Chee kin did make an effort but he's busy ya (baby n stuffs)....

Ok.... finally today i got to catch up on my sleep.... since sat until like this morn.. i was totally busy... slept at 3am, woke up at 6am, ten run around the whole day (doin stuffs that i cunt cancel).... but today i made it a point to rest!!! so after i reach home about 11am.. i slept until 3pm... phew!!! a relief....

well, not got to shower n get ready to go to school... oh mann, i haven done my readings... m screwed!!!!