For the past week, we had four korean missionaries staying at our place. It was fun trying to understand what they were saying and also getting the opportunity to cook (for them.. )
In the midst of all that they wanted to have bible fellowship wit me, and all... Well, after the first fellowhip they told me that I should open up my heart... This is one of my major flaws (or strength..) cos althought i might seem to be extremely open and carefree.. (which i m btw.. ) but in reality I don't open up to people that much... i just show them the "happy me". what's inside my heart is known only to me n God alone... Don't get me wrong... I m not one of those super-introvert n cunning n calculative type.. infact i hate those type... but sometimes i put up my defence when i feel insecure or wen i don feel comfortable... To my friends and close ones i DO NOT PUT UP MY DEFENCE K.. i will if i find that i dont trust them anymore.. so when i put up my defence you can almost feel the chill... So for this reason, they asked me to open up my heart.. another reason would be because i m not easily impressionable... i don take things at face value, i.e, if u want me to believe in something I would not readily accept it, unless i'v thought through n prayed about it..
well, one of the missionaries said.. "avoni, you are always happy and smiling, but that is the conscience part of you that's trying to cover up what's inside of u... since you are the eldest, you r always exhaulted by your siblings.. and your parents love u very much, so even though they r worried they don't show you, you have a very sheltered life... that's y.. blah blah blah... "
He was trying to tell me how our "good conscience" may not neccesarily be from God.. but from devil... cos by and through out "good conscience" we try to hide and suppress our sins, which should not be the right way... we should not suppress out sins but let it out to God.. that's what he was trying to tell me... that i'v over time built up my defences too much..
well... i'v shared it all.. n i don't think i hide or suppress or anything.. but i didn't want to let them debate n prolong our fellowship so i just let them say what they want.. hehe... :)
SWEET MEMORIES....
Friday, June 26, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
tired but happy...
Don't you just love that "sweet" feeling you get after a long tiring day?? A sense of accomplishment, of security... Knowing that you are not useless but of value, hence the demand for your time... Today would be one of my most tiring day... Got up, breakfast, read a couple of christian magazines (all those testimonies and preaching stuffs... ); coached (piano) one of my staffs.. (cos we, i.e. my parents and I saw the need to upgrade her skills... ) Then.. taught dance to 5 energetic kids.. (m choreographing for some opening ceremony.... ).. Finally COOKed... made pasta with white sauce, fried rice, boiled lady's finger etc etc.... ah... M so darn tired... but happy.. :)
Monday, June 22, 2009
Curious play...
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Well, these days I'v been RE-watching this japanese anime that I once watch as a kid. Say, when i was about 11 or 12 years old. "Curious play".. now don't snigger or anything, cos i know u'v watched it as well.. .. Its this tiring effort of several good-will people to accomplish a mission, with the help of a girl (from the other world.. ie.. OUR world) nwas today i don't intend to enlighten "thee" on the whole complete non-edited "avoni's narration" on this show.. but well... one this one aspect that i simply droll about...
It's the love that "maika and Tamahome" share that simply makes me go.. "aaahhh....!" (with a gentle exclaimation) hehe.... they are from two totally different world and time... ancient china and present tokyo... but they create a miracle with their love for each other and even breaks the laws of heaven... they were destined to be seperated and were doomed to live without each other, obviously because they were from different world... once maika finishes her mission, she goes back to her 'real world" and tamahome (ancient china) can't enter the real world.. but the miracle is that.. HE does... simply because he made a promise that he'll always be by her side and love and protect her till his last breath... oh.... n this is not the only thing... "you are the reason that i live.." just imagine your dream "prince" saying that to you... mmmm...... :)
okies... enough of all these... time to get back to the 'real' world...
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Well, these days I'v been RE-watching this japanese anime that I once watch as a kid. Say, when i was about 11 or 12 years old. "Curious play".. now don't snigger or anything, cos i know u'v watched it as well.. .. Its this tiring effort of several good-will people to accomplish a mission, with the help of a girl (from the other world.. ie.. OUR world) nwas today i don't intend to enlighten "thee" on the whole complete non-edited "avoni's narration" on this show.. but well... one this one aspect that i simply droll about...
It's the love that "maika and Tamahome" share that simply makes me go.. "aaahhh....!" (with a gentle exclaimation) hehe.... they are from two totally different world and time... ancient china and present tokyo... but they create a miracle with their love for each other and even breaks the laws of heaven... they were destined to be seperated and were doomed to live without each other, obviously because they were from different world... once maika finishes her mission, she goes back to her 'real world" and tamahome (ancient china) can't enter the real world.. but the miracle is that.. HE does... simply because he made a promise that he'll always be by her side and love and protect her till his last breath... oh.... n this is not the only thing... "you are the reason that i live.." just imagine your dream "prince" saying that to you... mmmm...... :)
okies... enough of all these... time to get back to the 'real' world...
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
how some irritating DHL guy can spoil ur mood....
Recently ella helped me parcel my books and some stuffs from singapore to here... and its darn irritating these DHL people in INDIA... delhi to be particular.. I don't intend to be racist.. i love all colours and cultures... but its when they try to suck your blood out that i get mad... THEY are &*%$#@#$ asking me to pay about $400 singapore dollars.. about 10,000 rupees.. so that i can retrive my belongings.. how screwed up is that? my stuffs are worth about $500 dollars max.. about that... n now i'v to pay like 80%??? so that i can get my old stuffs back?? its daylight robbery... i HATE DHL people in DELHI .. they can go to hell..!! screw you "DHL " in delhi... its as if i m buying back my old stuffs... now i cant handle them on my own.. so daddy's helping me out... He's talking with them... hopefully it'll all be alright.. please please pray for me.. i need my books... if its like other things like clothes n stuffs.. i wunt even bother to get it back.. those bloody greedy people can have it... but i want my BOOKS... damn it~!!!!!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
loved...
Somtimes we don't realise just how blessed we are until we "count our blessings"
It's weird how we only want more and more and more out of life and continually task God to give us the impossible.. but how many times do we sit back, relax and wonder at all the impossibilities that He has done for us? Many a times i forget to do too...
But recently, after one of my complaining sessions to my father God.... i was just lying down on my bed and stoning.... then suddenly, from the window i heard some of my students singing "What a friend we have in Jesus" (they didn't know what i was goin through.. but they were practicing their parts)... suddenly i forgot my depression and starting laughing... right after that, my brother started playing (very loudly) "who am I? - Casting crowns" (and he didn't know my state either..." this made me laugh even harder... how foolishly i'v thought that God didn't care.. but he certainly does give importance to details... :)
My parents are the most adorable pair.... and they've confirmed their cuteness (100%) through this exam i;m taking... daddy will never fail to drop me to the examination hall, no matter how busy he is, no matter how many pending works he has... then he will wait until i've finish taking my exams.. then fetch me back home.. how many dads would do this? I m just too lucky and grateful...
And mummy... will constantly listen to all my whims and fancies and try to fulfil them... like the cunningly avoni (ah tats me...) will lay still in bad, pretending not to be able to get up due to body-ache... then i'l simply raise my hand up in the air and mummy will take 'me' hand and lift me up.... Dad also gives me massages if i complain about my slight headache, so do mum... it does fel good to be pampered... I love exams for and only for this reason.. It's and excuse to be pampered... hehe.... ;) :)
It's weird how we only want more and more and more out of life and continually task God to give us the impossible.. but how many times do we sit back, relax and wonder at all the impossibilities that He has done for us? Many a times i forget to do too...
But recently, after one of my complaining sessions to my father God.... i was just lying down on my bed and stoning.... then suddenly, from the window i heard some of my students singing "What a friend we have in Jesus" (they didn't know what i was goin through.. but they were practicing their parts)... suddenly i forgot my depression and starting laughing... right after that, my brother started playing (very loudly) "who am I? - Casting crowns" (and he didn't know my state either..." this made me laugh even harder... how foolishly i'v thought that God didn't care.. but he certainly does give importance to details... :)
My parents are the most adorable pair.... and they've confirmed their cuteness (100%) through this exam i;m taking... daddy will never fail to drop me to the examination hall, no matter how busy he is, no matter how many pending works he has... then he will wait until i've finish taking my exams.. then fetch me back home.. how many dads would do this? I m just too lucky and grateful...
And mummy... will constantly listen to all my whims and fancies and try to fulfil them... like the cunningly avoni (ah tats me...) will lay still in bad, pretending not to be able to get up due to body-ache... then i'l simply raise my hand up in the air and mummy will take 'me' hand and lift me up.... Dad also gives me massages if i complain about my slight headache, so do mum... it does fel good to be pampered... I love exams for and only for this reason.. It's and excuse to be pampered... hehe.... ;) :)
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