Our family has this tradition of having a prayer meetng every night before retiring.... so these days have been learning alot.. and also God has been revealing insights to me.. its amazing how he can make me give inspiring words to my family!!!
One of the prayer meeting, dad was talking about how we are princes and princesses of God so we should claim his riches and stuffs... so at that moment i started to weep.. ok there were other things that let to me crying during our prayer meeting (which i will share later..) nwas something just bang me in the head.. like how sometimes God likes to train us cos he wants to use us for a greater purpose.. he sometimes holds back on answering our prayers because he wants to give us somethings nicer and better than we even asked for... and sometimes its because he wants to tame our heart.. and on this i gave a long list of how i was before.. (the stubborn, arrogant, impatient gal.. etc) and then a list of incidents that changed me.. and i shared how sometimes God uses things that shame us so as to mould us into a better person.. etc... and also the thought that we should accept ourself for who we are just ran through my mind.. indeed God reveals things in a funny way!!
LOVE:---- these days have been learning alot about love too... more on how i should love myself too.. cos ok.. like one morning daddy came to my room and told me.. Avoni, u should also buy dresses for urself instead of sacrificing for us.. he meant that sometimes i should also think for myself and not only sacrifice what i want for them...
At that i was like.. Duh!!! i already have ALot of clothes.. I don need to buy more.. i m sacrificing for them (mum, dad, khris, albert and moses.. ) cos i love them.. and i wana shower them with all i can,, and for me that means buying them things (thats my love language)...
Then this thing continued even in the prayer meeting.. everybody was sitted.. then i came down with my track pants and sweat jacket.. as soon as i reached the room.. dad was like.. wow, avoni u look nice!!... buy more clothes for urself ok?
the turing to cristina he said, " you see she always sacrifices her money for us and ho9lds back for buying good clothes for herslf... and blah blah blah,,,
to that i wanted to cry and i jus answered.. daddy thats because i love u... i wana express my love!!!
Nwas haha... this also gives me the freedom to buy more clothes aye?? yo yo.. hahaha.... (actually he is crazy.. i don need any prompting to buy clothes.. its instrinsic..)LOL
Well.. at one of the prayer meetings again.. i felt goo.. lke i had this happy feeling of being loved...
dad was explaining to cristina.. how they spoilt me and pampered me as a child..
Dad: u see.. she was the first child.. so we did alot of things for her.. and even food.. she ate 6 eggs every day as a baby.. (then he continued with his long list of wat i ate..).. we pampered her alot...
MUm: especially daddy..
Khirstin: that y she ia a spoilt child..
(btw Khristin is my sister.. Cristina is a guest.. bro's fren from italy)
dad; But she is a very obedient child..
They continued with all their stupid comments..
But amidst all these discussions.. i got this warm feeling of being loved and accepted for who i was... amen!!
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